I don’t want to work so much . . . . right?

I generally think that I work to much and socialize too little for a healthy balance.  And it’s not that  I’m so passionately wrapped up in my work that I just  forget or don’t get around to the social part of my life, it’s more a combination of certain tedious parts of my work taking up too much time, and a  fear of dropping the ball and losing a job. (Although I never lost a job when I was clinically depressed, I felt close to it because of how poorly I functioned, so there is a fear left over from that time in my life.)

Related to this, I had a little experience the other day that brought me up short.  I stopped by a local coffee shop to grab a muffin on my way to do some work.  No one was expecting me at work, no one else was even at work, I just needed to get this item done some time that day.  At the coffee shop, I ran into a friendly acquaintance., and the whole time I was speaking with her I was feeling anxious about getting going and needing to get this project done.  About half way through the conversation I was really really noticing myself doing this.  Wanting her to wrap up the conversation, wanting to get to away from the conversation, although the conversation was pleasant and I was interested in it.

This is not how I want to react to friendly social encounters!

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