Blogging, a week in

Several thoughts about this experiment in blogging

One: I’m noticing that I’ve had some emotional reactions that I don’t really like.  The first couple of days, it was just like a new toy or something — learning how to use the system, how to organize categories, those types of things.  Then, once I started to get a few comments from people, I started to notice that there was a bit of anxiety / discomfort attached to it.  I don;t feel like I’m being interesting enough Of the “people aren’t going to like me” type.. Old, old stuff — emotional baggage I’d just as soon be rid of.  But, yeah, it’s still there.

Two: Wow, it’s easy to make assumptions!  Some of them “about” people, others of them even more basic.  For example, someone whose written English sounds like that of a native speaker, and who hasn’t used word like “bloke” or “flat” (to mean an apartment — we Americans do use the word “flat” to mean lacking in 3-dimensionality) — must be an American.  I mentioned Maine (a US state) in a response, then realized the person I was responding to was probably from Australia,  and may not know the name of all 50 of our states….. Another blogger sounded so mature that I was surprised to see she was under twenty.  When I meet a person in person, I think there are different kinds of assumptions I can make about them, based on age, appearance, clothing, the way they talk.  but that may be less obvious to me, because I am so used to doing it.  So, this is a good reminder.

Three: I find a lot of resistance and procrastination, even about things I really want in my life.  I find myself writing messages to friends late at night, even though one of the things I want most are improved relationships.  Why?  Partly insecurity, I guess — it can feel awkward trying to reestablish ties, so there can be the resistance of “what do I say and how do I say it??”  And partly habit / inertia.  Focusing on keeping in touch has NOT been my focus recently, so it’s not part of my routine.

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9 thoughts on “Blogging, a week in

  1. I’ve only been blogging for a month but I find that any posts written with honesty are interesting and this post was interesting! (:

  2. I’ve only been at this blogging thing for a few weeks and if you look at my beginning posts–okay, ALL my posts! there’s a recurring theme–fear! Fear of being vulnerable, exposing myself, worrying about being judged. So, I admire your honesty about your discomfort. I’m finding out that it’s okay. People like honesty. They like real. You got this 😉

  3. I too have the insecurities that you have. At first there were many who followed me but after a few posts, they stopped following me. I was terribly insecure to begin with, and that made it even worse for me. I want to be more open, but my fears keep me from it. I decided to join the HerotoZero challenge as well to help me overcome this. I have only been blogging since the end of November so I too am very new at this. I wish you the very best with your blog and I also hope your followers don’t “split” like mine did. 😀

    • Hi Joy- thanks for your comments.
      I don’t like the feeling that i “need” to have continual response — I’d really rather just connect with the people I connect with, at whatever rate that happens, no worries, but the emotional reaction … aargh!
      But I think (hope??), like you, continuing to do it will lessen the reaction that I don;tlike in myself.

      • I am learning to set aside my fears about “putting myself out there” and just doing it (little by little). If the folks read it and like it great ! If not, maybe someday I will write something they will like. 😀

  4. I really like the way you’ve organized your blog into topics, and you’ve made specific goals and/or update by category. I should try that if you don’t mind my borrowing your idea.

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