Several thoughts about this experiment in blogging
One: I’m noticing that I’ve had some emotional reactions that I don’t really like. The first couple of days, it was just like a new toy or something — learning how to use the system, how to organize categories, those types of things. Then, once I started to get a few comments from people, I started to notice that there was a bit of anxiety / discomfort attached to it. I don;t feel like I’m being interesting enough Of the “people aren’t going to like me” type.. Old, old stuff — emotional baggage I’d just as soon be rid of. But, yeah, it’s still there.
Two: Wow, it’s easy to make assumptions! Some of them “about” people, others of them even more basic. For example, someone whose written English sounds like that of a native speaker, and who hasn’t used word like “bloke” or “flat” (to mean an apartment — we Americans do use the word “flat” to mean lacking in 3-dimensionality) — must be an American. I mentioned Maine (a US state) in a response, then realized the person I was responding to was probably from Australia, and may not know the name of all 50 of our states….. Another blogger sounded so mature that I was surprised to see she was under twenty. When I meet a person in person, I think there are different kinds of assumptions I can make about them, based on age, appearance, clothing, the way they talk. but that may be less obvious to me, because I am so used to doing it. So, this is a good reminder.
Three: I find a lot of resistance and procrastination, even about things I really want in my life. I find myself writing messages to friends late at night, even though one of the things I want most are improved relationships. Why? Partly insecurity, I guess — it can feel awkward trying to reestablish ties, so there can be the resistance of “what do I say and how do I say it??” And partly habit / inertia. Focusing on keeping in touch has NOT been my focus recently, so it’s not part of my routine.